Not sure since when it had started, that it has became a habit to check on her message every morning, every night.. on FB. It became a routine for me..and im all smile reading her msgs. though some may sound silly and childish, but i just feel nice reading it.
I dunno what is on her mind. Does she knows that she may have gone alittle over board with her actions and words? Does she knows that there is responsibility in ones action?Something that may not seems to matter much to you, may mean a world to another person. I certainly believed im just being over-sensitive, and she is not serious of any of the things she had said ...-- that she misses me...muackz in most of her closing messages of the day... asking where i am..if im home? I supposed any dumb ass would have lead to believe there is an interest from her side.
However, whenever she reaches home..all her sms msgs stopped. Messages will resume from FB later in the night. Similary, over weekend..it will be from FB, rather than sms. I tried to not sms her either whenever she is home. Only waited for her FB messages. As i do not want to create any unnecessary problem for her. I supposed it isnt convenient for her. Her husband may ask her who she is communicating after all. Yes, she is married.
I dunno if i really like her. But we could communicate really well. We can talk for hours. Same thoughts keep coming back to my mind. .. I shouldnt ruin her life...if i really like her..i should stay away. I'm trying, and its tough. Tough when she is that innocent, cheerful girl that always makes you feel happy when she is around. Or it must be my boredom with life that is giving false feeling..i dunno...
Deep down, I do hope she takes the first step..initiating...else..i do not think i can bring myself to take the first step as there is that guilt in me..knowing the moment i initiate..her current simple and happy life will be ruin... the scare will be there for life....
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